Who am I and how did I get here?

My sister and I - how I learned to be positive through lossI’ve had a few life experiences that have led me to this point and I’m grateful for them all, good and bad.

From love to loss to relationships, career and motherhood, I’ve been taught a fair few lessons, which I’m happy to share here so you can get to know me a little bit better.

(that’s me, on the left and my big sister Sadie, on the right)

Loss

The sudden loss of my sister, Sadie, when I was 14 years old taught me some seriously valuable life lessons, mainly:

• We only get one life and it can be gone in a second
• Treasure your life, live it, take all it has to offer
• Give back, give all you can, because giving of yourself heals others, but it also heals you.

I also started having counselling which helped me so much more than I could have helped myself when I was so young. That was the start of an amazing relationship with cognitive and alternative therapies that has continued throughout my life. I’ve met some fantastic mentors, coaches and therapists along the way, and each one has left an imprint and a set of tools that I’m still using, years later.

Career, relationships and health

A bad breakup at 30 left me spinning. This wasn’t my plan AT ALL, I told the universe. But hey, I could handle it, and handle it I did. I partied (a lot), drank (a lot), made very bad decisions about the guys I met along the way (a lot….ouchie) .Yes sir, I handled the shit out of it.

After a while, the partying was taking its inevitable toll on my wellbeing. I was a mess quite frankly. Something needed to change.

The first sign that I was ready to sort my life out came in the form of a pep talk from my boss about my potential, a change in direction, a big promotion, financial freedom and self-confidence. I found that as a manager (Corporate Communications, FYI) I had a natural talent for mentoring and guiding my team, and winning the trust of my peers and superiors. It was a huge boost to my self-confidence.

Secondly, with my confidence boosted, I was motivated to find a personal trainer, who helped me lose almost 2 stone (around 13kg) and I gave up smoking (and partied a tad less). I should note here, that I still wasn’t an angel, but I was the best version of me there had been in a long time.

A change of career and my new found health turned into my purple patch. I won a national award in my field, bought a brand new car and rented a house by myself in beautiful Cornwall (UK). I lived the life I wanted to live which, to me, meant travel, treating my friends and myself and being worry free.

It was around this time I started to focus more on the power of gratitude, positive thinking, cosmic ordering and manifesting. Which brings me to…

Love

It was a bit of a joke in the office that my cosmic ordering man list had gotten FAR too long, and I was made to pick five non-negotiables (seriously, if you are single DO THIS. It is not OK to reject potential partners over the way they chew their food/shoe choice/dislike of cats etc).

I met Janis in the dodgiest of all dodgy nightclubs in Brighton, UK. Smashing the five non negotiables out of the park, he met every item on my manifest for the perfect man. In fact, the only problem with him was that he was moving to Australia. Six weeks later.

Fast forward three years. I now live in Brighton, Australia, with my soulmate Janis, and our daughter Frankie, born in January 2015. Janis has taught me more about gratitude and loving life than anyone I know. He left his native Latvia 14 years ago for a basketball scholarship in the US, barely speaking a word of English and has never looked back. Life has a funny way of working out doesn’t it?

Parenthood

This is a biggy! I wasn’t ready for parenthood (who is, right?!). I had always loved, and been great with kids but as time went on I became less and less convinced I’d have any of my own. I was getting used to being single and selfish and I really, really liked it.

Janis was straight up from the start about wanting children. I was 35 when we got married, and convinced I’d never fall pregnant (DAMN YOU scare mongering media!). I found myself massively hormonal within a few months after our wedding and…BINGO! it was Frankie, our first child.

I was sick for 14 weeks.
I was unconvinced.
I wanted to go back to the UK.
I cried.
A LOT.

But I had a word with myself (once the morning sickness was over), made sure I rocked pregnancy and worked hard to do it. I was pretty far in denial and frightened of what might be. I focused on being fit, healthy and mindful, especially around the birth and was lucky enough to have a positive experience. The love I felt for Frankie was instant, and I’m shocked and amazed daily at just how deeply I feel for my little girl. And how instinctive Janis and I are as parents. It’s tough, but we get through it and we are really proud of how far we have all come.

That said, you still might find me tear-stained and covered in baby puke on occasion. That’s motherhood.

Does any of this resonate with you? Let me know how you’ve overcome your own life lessons to become who you are today….