When daily life feels like too much of a grind, it’s really important to know and recognise a) when you are tipping over the edge and b) what can snap you out of it. The Feel Better Collection is a series that hopes to help you do just that.
There’s the big stuff, the stuff that needs slow and gradual unravelling for you to truly feel better and that takes time. I’m currently working with a coach of my own and it’s just brilliant to work on that slightly more complicated bit of my brain, unlocking the aha moments and using them to understand myself better in the long term.
But there are instant things you can do day to day, to lessen the feeling of being out of control or just a bit miserable.
The key is knowing the difference and knowing what makes you go ‘mmmmm that’s better!’ in the moment.
Here are my tips to feel better every day, you might identify with some of these or it might help spark a solution for you.
Feeling: a bit worn out and bedraggled
Solution: listening to my body and committing to early nights, as well as not setting alarms on the days I don’t have to (letting Frankie be the alarm, which also adds a fun element of Russian Roulette to the whole thing).
I also allow (force) myself to just sit quietly for part of Fs nap on a day I’m home with her, and if I’m at work I’ll go for a walk or find a space to be quiet and recharge for five. A little meditation is also great for recharging, just ten minutes can feel like an hour’s nap. Trust me, it’s worth allowing yourself this time.
Feeling: a bit aggro and highly strung
Solution: this is self love time!! Lovely scented candles, chocolate/ice cream, a favourite meal (and yes, this may be McDonald’s…), a sunny walk, meditation, taking a moment to recognise that i’m reacting to the world around me and I need to stop and listen to myself. Just being on my own with no phone and my thoughts to unwind. Asking Janis to put Frankie to bed or even take her for half a day if it’s the weekend just to get some headspace. Reminding myself of all that is good in my life, focusing on the positive and seeing how pointless it is to be cross. And forgiving myself.
Feeling: out of control and chaotic
Solution: making time to write everything down and plan it out
Living inside my head when it’s busy can be really tricky. I have lots of planning tools that I use but of course sometimes even those can run away from me. During a busy time when leftfield requests or activities come in, it can all start to feel too hard to manage. Bringing it back to those old faithfuls of a to do list and a calendar instantly makes me feel better. I can prioritise the list, plan when things need to be done and tick them off as I go. Instant control that takes me 30 minutes max. We now have giant Kikki K wall planners that are a total life (brain) saver.
Feeling: overwhelmed and like I don’t know where to start
Solution: the ideal time for me to get to here is a weekend with no real plans because I find having a proper good clean and a sort out of drawers, cupboards, clothes, you name it ALWAYS makes me feel lighter. Just refolding everything, decluttering everywhere, having a big bag to chuck out or take to the Salvos just orders my mind and allows me to focus on what’s important. I am lucky that Janis is TOTALLY into this when it happens and we whirlwind round the house reorganising until sometimes we have no idea where anything is.
*I recently cleared out my gunk drawers. You know what I’m talking about. Old odds and ends of make up, travel toiletries from hotels, a nail varnish you only wore once, some freebies from a goody bag you will never use but they are NEW and you MIGHT. I completely reorganised my bathroom vanity and junked SO MUCH CRAP. It was utterly liberating.
And at any time I feel better when I….
- Change the sheets.
- Get my eyebrows done (or any kind of treatment given half the chance!).
- Go to the shops by myself. And yes, this can even be a supermarket.
- Get a cold glass of wine at a naughty time of day.
- Have a lovely coffee and maybe a treat at a pavement cafe, with or without Frankie, and just people watch.
- Paint my toenails.
- Make a ‘healthy’ treat in bulk for the freezer (smug AND ready treats = the best)
- Do some exercise.
Note: I have not added lots about being with friends and family and all that kind of thing here, even though those things DO make me feel better, because this really is about solo pursuits – what I can do to make myself feel better.
So, how do you make yourself feel better?